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peterm
Joined: 15 Jul 2014
Posts: 260
Location: Pietermaritzburg
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 Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2014 6:08 pm Post subject: |
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| tangela wrote: | | I agree to a point but I think both us and the guys have been hurt to the point that we do want to meet that special person but not sure if we want to go through it again. And it is sad. I really think our standards are to high but when we read a guys profile it sometimes comes off as a show off. I have been chatting to a guy on and off for a while but the minute you suggest meeting he just stops writting. Yes on my profile it states I am seperated and I have been for 4 yrs now but that seems to be a problem. |
Just a suggestion but "meeting" can be a bit ambiguous. Is this a date meeting or just coffee say during the day. Big difference between the two.
If he stays close enough simply suggest coffee and tell him where you will be and the time. Go have a cup of coffee no pressure nothing and if he comes... If not maybe it is time to move on. A guy who is that indecisive.... and avoids a meeting is hiding something and you are expecting more than he wants to give.
Being separated is a bit of turn off but not the end of the world. Some guys have visions of agro husbands pounding on them or just more trouble than it is worth. BTW if you have been separated for four years what's holding you back? |
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peterm
Joined: 15 Jul 2014
Posts: 260
Location: Pietermaritzburg
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| Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2014 6:41 pm Post subject: |
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| tangela wrote: | | I agree to a point but I think both us and the guys have been hurt to the point that we do want to meet that special person but not sure if we want to go through it again. And it is sad. I really think our standards are to high but when we read a guys profile it sometimes comes off as a show off. I have been chatting to a guy on and off for a while but the minute you suggest meeting he just stops writting. Yes on my profile it states I am seperated and I have been for 4 yrs now but that seems to be a problem. |
It was a bit of a generalisation on my part but your point is exactly the baggage I mentioned. ' ' The next guy has to suffer for the sins of others over which he has no control and probably little knowledge or understanding. You now come with a shopping list of qualities and qualifications that are biased by everything in your past. There is nothing on this earth that puts a guy off more than having to compete with your past. I'm pretty sure woman feel the same way about guys who come with this kind of baggage.
Take the one quality that best describes what was wrong and watch for that. ie violence, drugs....
This may sound harsh it's not, let it go you cannot turn back the clock and change anything and there is no point in suffering for what happened in the past because you cannot change it. Getting hurt is part of love, the perfect relationship[ does not exist. You are going to get hurt again and every guy you meet is not going to be Mr. Right. He probably does not exist anyway. Oh! and make very sure you do not look for the same.
qualities in a guy that got you the first one.
Shoot me, love me, I cannot help myself and seeing others battling to understand reminds me of myself. Sometimes I become intrusive in trying to help.
The first thing any guy has to learn is to deal with is the crap rejections he is going to get from woman. |
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peterm
Joined: 15 Jul 2014
Posts: 260
Location: Pietermaritzburg
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| Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2014 6:46 pm Post subject: |
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| tangela wrote: | | Papers dawn up but he refuses to collect or sign for them and he is never in the same place. Haven't seen the idiot for 3.5yrs now and he isn't allowed anywhere near me or my kids. So no there is no ex around. And if the guy actually took the time he would find that out. |
Damn my dear some people are just not worth knowing. Hire somebody to serve him if that is what it takes. He is doing it to annoy you. Sort of like revenge. |
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peterm
Joined: 15 Jul 2014
Posts: 260
Location: Pietermaritzburg
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| Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2014 8:44 pm Post subject: |
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| tangela wrote: | | I have done that but refuses to accept and at the end of the day he isn't worth getting upset about. I have moved on and I am pretty happy were I am. And due to what has happened in the past I will never remarry but I will commit and stand by my guy till the end. |
I meant somebody who speaks his language and is not going to take no for an answer
Marriage is only really something for security of children. I suppose for some it is a sign of commitment. |
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Djmthoz
Joined: 24 Aug 2014
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2014 12:13 am Post subject: Re: profile pics can be very deceiving |
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| Its true it can happen |
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peterm
Joined: 15 Jul 2014
Posts: 260
Location: Pietermaritzburg
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| Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2014 10:53 am Post subject: |
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| tangela wrote: | | Commitment doesn't mean you need to have that piece of paper. |
Commitment = security in a relationship. Some are less trusting (maybe they should be) and need a legal agreement. It does have advantages and disadvantages for a legal point of view. |
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peterm
Joined: 15 Jul 2014
Posts: 260
Location: Pietermaritzburg
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| Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2014 1:18 pm Post subject: |
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| zariah wrote: | | Wow this page sure is busy,even though the topic has gone off track,but its interesting to read different views on dishonest profile pics and know the latest,commitment or lack there off,just for the record I know some men who will run for the hills the minute that word is mentioned....so what do they really want!!!!!!!!!!!! |
SEX with no strings. |
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peterm
Joined: 15 Jul 2014
Posts: 260
Location: Pietermaritzburg
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| Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2014 9:34 am Post subject: |
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| tangela wrote: | | Shame poor idiots then they must go pay for it elsewhere |
Apparently there are enough women out there who fall for their line of crap or who are just as interested in a one night stand. |
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Love me Tender
Joined: 07 Feb 2014
Posts: 153
Location: Cape Town
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| Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2014 2:31 pm Post subject: |
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| Peterm, I guess neing retired you have plenty of time to spend on this forum...and no, I wasn't trying to judge anyone...you are guilty of that too....so please leave us ladies in peace and go do some gardening, or something |
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Love me Tender
Joined: 07 Feb 2014
Posts: 153
Location: Cape Town
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| Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2014 2:32 pm Post subject: |
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| Peterm, I guess neing retired you have plenty of time to spend on this forum...and no, I wasn't trying to judge anyone...you are guilty of that too....so please leave us ladies in peace and go do some gardening, or something |
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peterm
Joined: 15 Jul 2014
Posts: 260
Location: Pietermaritzburg
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| Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2014 3:44 pm Post subject: |
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| Love me Tender wrote: | | Peterm, I guess neing retired you have plenty of time to spend on this forum...and no, I wasn't trying to judge anyone...you are guilty of that too....so please leave us ladies in peace and go do some gardening, or something |
You just did it again.
WTF do you think this is?
| Quote: | | Peterm, I guess (sic) neing retired you have plenty of time to spend on this forum |
Take it and stick it where it hurts. Now if you can show me one such comment about you I have made and QUOTE it be my guest. Who the hell gave you the right to make such comments about me? If you cannot be civil you don't own the site nor do you have permission to chase off anyone. Maybe you should watch your mouth and your judgements of others and try to remember who and what you are. There are no nails in your feet. I don't believe you speak for anyone but yourself. |
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Love me Tender
Joined: 07 Feb 2014
Posts: 153
Location: Cape Town
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| Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2014 11:13 pm Post subject: |
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| Ag, Peterm.....gve it a rest! Who gives you the right to pick on me. If you don't like what I say or who I am, leave me alone. I don't presume to judge or anything. Am just adding my two cents worth just like you did. If you want to insult, you get insults.... |
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Ruffdogg
Joined: 31 Jul 2013
Posts: 11
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| Posted: Wed Sep 03, 2014 1:17 am Post subject: |
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| in the end its jst a pic no need to get all worked up oval nothing |
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Ruffdogg
Joined: 31 Jul 2013
Posts: 11
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| Posted: Wed Sep 03, 2014 12:38 pm Post subject: |
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| I have 3 pics if u online looked....I mean I tried changing it but sumthing wrng with the settings anyway everyone entitled to thier opinion or jugement in this case (ever. heard the saying dont judge a book by its cover) I.m jst saying |
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Ruffdogg
Joined: 31 Jul 2013
Posts: 11
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| Posted: Wed Sep 03, 2014 1:22 pm Post subject: |
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| o....arrogant. can I ask y? |
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