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loyalscorpio
Joined: 10 Nov 2014
Posts: 10
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 Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2014 5:30 pm Post subject: why do married people cheat? |
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Hi Guys
I was just thinking about this topic and it happens everywere with both men and women. So tell me guys why do married men and women cheat? I would love to get different responses as we can look at this topic in many different angles. A lot of married men also have girlfriends. A lot of married women also have boyfriends. Whats the use of that when they have each other and the love between them should grow as time goes by. And then the poor kids gets caught in the middle. These people have a very low mentality by cheating and hurting many people in the process. Is marriage just a word nowdays? Does marriage not mean anything anymore as people do not respect their marriages?    |
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peterm
Joined: 15 Jul 2014
Posts: 260
Location: Pietermaritzburg
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| Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2014 11:14 pm Post subject: Re: why do married people cheat? |
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| loyalscorpio wrote: | Hi Guys
I was just thinking about this topic and it happens everywere with both men and women. So tell me guys why do married men and women cheat? I would love to get different responses as we can look at this topic in many different angles. A lot of married men also have girlfriends. A lot of married women also have boyfriends. Whats the use of that when they have each other and the love between them should grow as time goes by. And then the poor kids gets caught in the middle. These people have a very low mentality by cheating and hurting many people in the process. Is marriage just a word nowdays? Does marriage not mean anything anymore as people do not respect their marriages? |
I suppose there are many reasons not least of all is they do not get what they want from their partner. It may be a communications problem in that they cannot discuss their needs or they feel ashamed or maybe rejected.
Who knows how many were blinded by passion so much they refused to see the faults and one day they wake up. For some that maybe 50 years later. Some never do. Violence is the most often neglected characteristic that is excused time and again.
Both male and female are selfish and really don't care who gets hurt as long as they are OK. Marriage does not change people. |
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Francois004
Joined: 12 Oct 2014
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2014 6:14 am Post subject: Why do married people chat |
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| Morning. I take my self. I chat because me and my wife grew apart and yes we just carry on with life. I don't really have friends and would like some. We have been married for 25 years. I work away from home alot and have learnt or have become a very lonely person. The wife has learnt to go on on her own. so yes that is why i chat. |
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peterm
Joined: 15 Jul 2014
Posts: 260
Location: Pietermaritzburg
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| Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2014 8:02 am Post subject: Re: Why do married people chat |
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| Francois004 wrote: | | Morning. I take my self. I chat because me and my wife grew apart and yes we just carry on with life. I don't really have friends and would like some. We have been married for 25 years. I work away from home alot and have learnt or have become a very lonely person. The wife has learnt to go on on her own. so yes that is why i chat. |
Your wife needs company as much as you do and I think you should try to talk to her without apportioning blame. She also needs to be called often while you are away and look forward to your return. Take her out and make the best of the time you spend together.
Unless of course you do not love her in which case this does not matter.
Make the effort, love takes work to hold it together. |
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loyalscorpio
Joined: 10 Nov 2014
Posts: 10
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| Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2014 10:03 am Post subject: Re: Why do married people chat |
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| Francois004 wrote: | | Morning. I take my self. I chat because me and my wife grew apart and yes we just carry on with life. I don't really have friends and would like some. We have been married for 25 years. I work away from home alot and have learnt or have become a very lonely person. The wife has learnt to go on on her own. so yes that is why i chat. |
Well you are not by any means cheating as you and your wife is apart. Life does go on we can live only in the present and build a platform for our future. Nobody can go back in life and correct the past so the best move is to move forward in life. Hmm 25 years married that's almost my age lol. Im sure there are many compatible woman for you on this site. It works if you work it!  |
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loyalscorpio
Joined: 10 Nov 2014
Posts: 10
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| Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2014 10:08 am Post subject: |
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| alan wrote: | | if either cheat they are not with the right partner. period! |
Ok Alan fair enough. But in life you should learn to turn wrongs into rights. Its possible to make any relationship work. All you need is confidence and effort. Remember a woman is not a toy. Today you have it tomorrow you want a new toy in the market. Right or wrong partner in marriage cheating is not the correct way out. |
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loyalscorpio
Joined: 10 Nov 2014
Posts: 10
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| Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2014 10:15 am Post subject: |
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| beewitch wrote: | I was blind to my ex ways...always had an excuse. 1st time had blue eye, was embarrassed, with the verbal abuse & breaking me down...he loved me but was having a bad day...I took him back 3xs...always for the sake of my kids...think the 3rd time just decided enough was enough...My kids & I deserved better....When he slept around was cause I'm ugly or am ugly & fat...
So yea there are many reasons why 1 out grows another...Just never stay for the sake of kids...you don't realize what damage you doing to the kids in the end... |
That was really nasty of him. No man can beat up a woman as an excuse for being stressed. A real man never even lifts up his hand to hit a woman. You really see a persons true colours when you marry them and live together. No woman should live with an abusive man that's totally unacceptable. The best move you did was to leave him. He is a disgusting man! |
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peterm
Joined: 15 Jul 2014
Posts: 260
Location: Pietermaritzburg
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| Posted: Tue Nov 18, 2014 11:00 pm Post subject: |
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| loyalscorpio wrote: | | beewitch wrote: | I was blind to my ex ways...always had an excuse. 1st time had blue eye, was embarrassed, with the verbal abuse & breaking me down...he loved me but was having a bad day...I took him back 3xs...always for the sake of my kids...think the 3rd time just decided enough was enough...My kids & I deserved better....When he slept around was cause I'm ugly or am ugly & fat...
So yea there are many reasons why 1 out grows another...Just never stay for the sake of kids...you don't realize what damage you doing to the kids in the end... |
That was really nasty of him. No man can beat up a woman as an excuse for being stressed. A real man never even lifts up his hand to hit a woman. You really see a persons true colours when you marry them and live together. No woman should live with an abusive man that's totally unacceptable. The best move you did was to leave him. He is a disgusting man! |
A lady I worked with for many years and she worked for me for even longer used to beat her husband up on a regular basis. I know of three times she put him in hospital. He would come home drunk, she would pick an argument, game on.
Then again some woman should be muzzled.  |
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peterm
Joined: 15 Jul 2014
Posts: 260
Location: Pietermaritzburg
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| Posted: Fri Nov 21, 2014 9:53 pm Post subject: |
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| cmah wrote: | | i always ask myself a same quest. I first started datinng at da age of 20 n now im 25. i know what i want and i always pray for it. Real couples put communication as the 1st key to their marriage. andastanding and tolerance also form part of knot.if love seem to fade awy it takes 2 to revive it. Even if one is away, sext,skype, call often to keep that connection. always try new things especialy in love making. |
Magic advice some people think relationship look after themselves or even owe them something. Look out for selfish people or people who love themselves, they always do badly in a relationship. |
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peterm
Joined: 15 Jul 2014
Posts: 260
Location: Pietermaritzburg
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| Posted: Sun Nov 23, 2014 12:28 pm Post subject: |
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| lyndon wrote: | | I'm only 23 years old and obviously I don't know much about marriage,but I think the main reason why people cheat is because they stop doing the activities that attracted them to each other when they were dating.there's no more spontaneous things that take place,there's no more romance,no more intimacy sex becomes boring after a while.and then people think that if they have children it will solve their problems or the child will become the glue that holds everything together.that's just my opinion but as somebody replied on this topic that modern technology can really help a couple communicate the entire day even if they are on different continents...whatsapp..skype just to keep communication clear and keep the spark lit.also people have the preconceived idea that you need money to be romantic that's not true all you need is some creativity and basic stuff candles...roses etc...that's my opinion. |
I wish it was that simple. It not the big things, it's the little things. Being kind, considerate, willing to listen, willing to ADJUST, willing to compromise, willing to do your share, willing to PROTECT your relationship.... any relationship is a two way street. You are married to your friend, lover, companion and the possibility of taking on the responsibility of raising children. It is all of those things. And we all need me time as well. |
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lonely_steve
Joined: 23 Nov 2014
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2014 8:10 am Post subject: hurt |
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| I really don't know why people cheat. Suppose its the kind of person you are that causes it. Iv just been thro a bad breakup. Me and my ex were together for 5 years engadge for almost two. The wednesday morning she told me she loves me and that same night she told me its over she's seeing someone els. Its been a month now and I still don't know what I did to cause her to leave me. I. Would like to meet someone that understands this pain and can relate to beeing clueless. I honestly need a friend. |
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jamesikechukwu000
Joined: 01 Dec 2014
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2014 11:46 am Post subject: |
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| is nt just fun for them |
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jamesikechukwu000
Joined: 01 Dec 2014
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2014 11:47 am Post subject: |
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| am honestly in search of true love |
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peterm
Joined: 15 Jul 2014
Posts: 260
Location: Pietermaritzburg
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| Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2014 2:01 am Post subject: |
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| I'll settle for a friend, companion, lover and preferably female |
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Nash
Joined: 08 Dec 2014
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Mon Dec 08, 2014 2:25 pm Post subject: Why do people cheat |
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| I guess it is difficult for people to admit and accept this fact but it happens every day. I once worked with an elder White lady in Pretoria and we became friends intiially and in a few months she was always sending me suggestive messages and e-mails etc. We became close friends and then one day she booked a room in a guest house and we went there during the day time when load shedding was taking place a few years ago. We spoke about her problems in great lenght previously and the fact was that she loved her husband which was her second marriage but he became impotent and could not satisfy her intimate needs. She needed someone decent for discreet intimate pleasures during the day and I happen to be the chosen one. I must admit she was good in bed and very adventurous and she had a great body but I had to leave the company so we broke off. I still try to contact her but she refuses to answer the phone because she works with her hubby for the same company. I am not ashamed of having had the affair with this woman and I know she loves me too much to want to hurt her ailing hubby who has many illnesses. She is a decent and respectful woman and I am proud to have been the chosen one to be intimate with her while it lasted... |
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