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peterm
Joined: 15 Jul 2014
Posts: 260
Location: Pietermaritzburg
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 Posted: Mon Dec 08, 2014 3:17 pm Post subject: Re: Why do people cheat |
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| Nash wrote: | | I guess it is difficult for people to admit and accept this fact but it happens every day. I once worked with an elder White lady in Pretoria and we became friends intiially and in a few months she was always sending me suggestive messages and e-mails etc. We became close friends and then one day she booked a room in a guest house and we went there during the day time when load shedding was taking place a few years ago. We spoke about her problems in great lenght previously and the fact was that she loved her husband which was her second marriage but he became impotent and could not satisfy her intimate needs. She needed someone decent for discreet intimate pleasures during the day and I happen to be the chosen one. I must admit she was good in bed and very adventurous and she had a great body but I had to leave the company so we broke off. I still try to contact her but she refuses to answer the phone because she works with her hubby for the same company. I am not ashamed of having had the affair with this woman and I know she loves me too much to want to hurt her ailing hubby who has many illnesses. She is a decent and respectful woman and I am proud to have been the chosen one to be intimate with her while it lasted... |
As beauty is in the eye of the beholder so are many other things. Would you still call your wife decent if she cheated on you? |
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luv2muf
Joined: 08 Jan 2015
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Thu Jan 08, 2015 7:28 pm Post subject: |
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This is a very controversial subject . Some people both male and female cheat because they idiots , but tat said there are many who "cheat" for other reasons .They may love the partner deeply but sexually they have drifted apart or one or the other is ill or impotent . Having sex in this case too satisfy a small part f the life they live and still stay and love and look after their partner is ok in my book. The relationship or family unit is not destroyed and they can continue being with someone the care about without hurting them. People MUST realise that sex does taper off in many relationships and this lack of sex does not mean lack of love. To put it another way you love your parents/children/friends but you don't need sex to love them. Lots of couples become best friends forever but not lovers forever.
I for one enjoy a variety of lovers/sexual partners and have over the years and those that were attached or married never wanted to break up their union but mostly just wanted a change. As one put it , she was very happy with her "old car" and is nice riding in a "new BMW" BUT .... only occasionally ..lol |
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Angie2579
Joined: 12 Dec 2014
Posts: 10
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| Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2015 10:34 am Post subject: hellow |
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| Married people cheat coz partners get used too much of their partners and forget the they are lovers bt not friends, by the time goes on the spark of love fades where they lack romantic moments like out-dinners, kissing etc. It's not same to have someone next to you all the time and seeing someone once in 2 weeks, what I'm saying is that you miss someone when you don't spend time with him everyday rather than seeing him once in a while. Good people some of you will deny that but it's the fact. |
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phoebe
Joined: 18 Jan 2015
Posts: 9
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| Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2015 12:08 am Post subject: |
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| I've notice an increase in fe late 30's and men 40's plus divorced-most like they only really mature/change and realise what they actually want but then they should opt out marriage and then find what they looking for and cyberspace don't make it easier-its a whole new universe of cheating and then ya get men who put pics on of them when they 20/ woman and men lie and the vulnerable believe they apart. I don't like married men-if they can do it with ya they can do it to ya |
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phoebe
Joined: 18 Jan 2015
Posts: 9
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| Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2015 12:12 am Post subject: |
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| We live in cyberspace where ita easy to lie and con others that one is single-and ppl can cheat without ever meeting. We end up in emotionally retarded marriages cos ppl don't talk anymore |
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phoebe
Joined: 18 Jan 2015
Posts: 9
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| Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2015 12:14 am Post subject: |
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| We also live in a fast paced materiistic world where if the tv breaks we don't ficx it buut buy another! We have also become like that to a degree |
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peterm
Joined: 15 Jul 2014
Posts: 260
Location: Pietermaritzburg
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| Posted: Fri Jan 23, 2015 12:55 pm Post subject: |
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| phoebe wrote: | | We live in cyberspace where ita easy to lie and con others that one is single-and ppl can cheat without ever meeting. We end up in emotionally retarded marriages cos ppl don't talk anymore |
Communications in a marriage is vital but I think we are far to selfish and forget marriage is a two way street. |
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peterm
Joined: 15 Jul 2014
Posts: 260
Location: Pietermaritzburg
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| Posted: Sun Jan 25, 2015 7:31 am Post subject: |
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| beewitch wrote: | | So agree...commitment is just not the same anymore...you right peterm... |
Commitment??? what's that.  Oh! I know, I commit to having fun.
Many people have the quaint idea that marriages just work when instead its like two rough stones that grind together until they fit or decide there is a lump that is not responding. Working out those little things makes the bigger bumps so much easier. If one is not willing to negotiate or see the others point of view, it is going to fail.
The reward for doing that is the most wonderful relationship you will ever experience. |
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peterm
Joined: 15 Jul 2014
Posts: 260
Location: Pietermaritzburg
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| Posted: Mon Apr 20, 2015 10:40 am Post subject: |
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| curiousknotty wrote: | | - People whom cheat are just that , they will have their fun and when the fun is no longer fun well - Back to the old boring drawing board I guess ...... |
People who cheat are selfish, uncaring and abusive. In every marriage there comes a time or more when one must make a decision either you are committed or not. If the right answer is not forthcoming that marriage has no value to you. Perhaps it's time to figure out why. |
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[email protected]
Joined: 24 Apr 2015
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Fri Apr 24, 2015 10:56 pm Post subject: Why married people cheat |
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having known and being married to my ex for 17 years and being divorced for equally the same time, one has been exposed to both types of relationships. there are many reasons why people cheat but it still does not excuse the behavior. Most of the time, those who are being cheated on, forget to ask this question "how have I contributed to this situation?" whether you have done something or not done anything i.e. if as a wife I'm going to use withholding my "wifely duties" when I'm upset or trying to gain my way, the chances are that one of these good days, I might suffer the consequences, whether morally wrong or right, the fact of the matter is that either way I have contributed to the situation...
Therefore taking responsibility for the part you played in the situation (big girl pill) in the relationship, determines whether you remain bitter and you cannot move on with your life and you judge every man with the same standards and stand a chance of losing the very same guy who could have been the one for you... by the way its not that easy! |
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peterm
Joined: 15 Jul 2014
Posts: 260
Location: Pietermaritzburg
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| Posted: Sat Apr 25, 2015 10:12 pm Post subject: |
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| curiousknotty wrote: | | Okay so I've read a couple of the responses of people that has commented , Why people cheat in their marriage is completely up to their own right - What ever is going on in their mind is their own thoughts , sometimes harder to explain than others , some feel like they need to explore their options others feel they lack something whatever the case might be wrong or wrong so be it , whom are you to judge ? It's a free country and you may think what you want to - doesn't give you the right to say it though does it ? Whatever your situation is and whatever your coming and goings might be - People whom cheat are just that , they will have their fun and when the fun is no longer fun well - Back to the old boring drawing board I guess ...... |
Actually that is not quite true. You may have forgotten and some people do they day they sign that marriage is a legal CONTRACT with terms, binding terms. So trying to excuse cheating clearly a breach of that contract as some kind of right to do so misses the point. The break the contract knowingly of it terms. That reasons for that are many none of them an excuse that any court will accept.
What one can say is most times this is simply due to an inability to communicate and negotiate terms that are agreeable to both parties. Instead the grievance festers until something breaks.
People who cheat are selfish in the extreme. There is no doubt about that. I maybe wrong but I'll only take the word of a psychologist Boring? They never make it boring it is always a drama and then the real fight begins who gets what. Best one can do is head for the hills before getting involved. |
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Gary1910
Joined: 22 May 2015
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Thu May 28, 2015 11:29 am Post subject: Why married people cheat |
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I am not very proud to say that i cheated in my marriage and have often asked myself the reason why i did so. It is not up to anybody to judge anyone because different people do it for different reasons and i am sure that most people don't intentionally go out looking for a person to cheat with.
In my case, it was about the sex in my marriage. It became boring and most times non existent. I had a high sex drive and my spouse did not. Our marriage did not start like this though. I bumped into and ex-girlfriend of mine, we met for coffee and things turned sexual. I found she shared my very high sex drive and was equally wanting more.
We are still together after almost 8 years. We practice safe sex and our relationship does not affect our spouses, our children or our commitments. We have boundaries and respect each other families. |
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