The Dating Forum

[Bouncing Buns]

Is there such a thing as love anymore or does it just reside in ones wallet ..???

been single now for 6 years ..of which i haven't dated for the last 2 years ... why haven't i dated for the last 2 years ... the 22 plus girls that i attempted to date in the 4 years proceeding really put me off!! here's a few reasons off the top of my head ...

1) can u help me ..just need to pay my .... ill pay u back
2) my kids are hungry ....
3)i like the finer things in life ... you need to pay for it ..
4) I dont have money for a ...mechanic,plumber,electrician,locksmith !!
5) I dont sleep with guys just somer !! but we can go out next weekend and you can treat me to something nice ...!!
6) Dont wanna go camping ... lets get a hotel ..u can pay !
7) i know u took your ex to that ... why dont u take me ... ??
my ex used to ....
9)my ex used to buy my kids ....
10) i'm out of airtime ....
11) i need a ride ....

And all this time ...you opening doors for her ...kissing ass .. the money flowing out your wallet like there's no tomorrow .... you feel like a slave ... shes stand offish but throws a treat your way ever now and then ... but never intimate stuff!!

guys --- how many of u heard these ones before ??? ...... and how many of you are still falling for them ...haha!

If a woman is over 30 and doesn't enjoy sex ... or is holding out ...saying what a nice guy u are etc ... shes playing games ...she knows ...its her body u want ...and she'll use that fact to get what she wants ...give it a month ... she'll make a comment like ...lets be friends ... (meaning ...she doesn't fancy u ..you just not rich enough ..not good looking enough ...or shes got better prospects in mind etc etc )

so here's my next girl ...she'll pay half for everything , pay her own way....go dutch so to speak .... I'm not there to pay for your kids --- they are genetically related to the guy that is supposed to be paying ... your car broken? ...call a mechanic (thats their job) i don't call u when the dishwasher is broken .... Now every woman reading this is thinking ''what a jerk !!!'' ... why??? I'm not asking you to come clean my house ...open my car door for me ...or feed my kids .... you want to be equal to men ...this is 2018 where people eat tide pods not 1918 ...here's your chance!!! I haven't asked you for a cent ...haven't made you do anything ... keep sex off the table and lets go out !!! you can choose !! and if u think sex is a chore ..go out with a girlfriend if you feeling lonely! We were created with different equipment for a reason .... to copulate!!!

Now tell me i'm going to find someone !!!????? so back to my original statement --- LOVE ...REALLY?? being a nice guy makes u a smuck , a sucker , at the end of it ..you'll end up walking home with your dick in your hand -- alone! Not saying be a bastard ... just share everything and stop being so pathetically easy!! ( that was a comment to the men)

who here will date me ? Haha !!! its ok ... life ok on my own.....

[brokenarrow]

Bulls eye, you hit the nail on the head, this so true, many false people out there
Found South African woman typical of this, everyone must pay for their mistakes and its a mans fault.

Look for an asian girlfriend!!!

[Bouncing Buns]

I know you guys appreciate what i've posted above because u've lived it .... what i'd like to see is a female ''come back'' ..!!! Come on gals ... come bend me over and give me one right in the kister ... but beware ..behind me is an army of down trodden men just waiting for some payback ! Sure some of u gals been through the same thing ...perhaps ..maybe ... world full of parasites eh??

Just got a message from a little chicky I spent Dec with .... seems shes upset cause i'm not giving her , her way any longer ... Shes really nice and i do fancy her but not going to tolerate her shit !!!This idea of putting them up there on the throne and bowing before them has got to stop ...relationships aren't built this way ...slaves are!!!

[LS]

I'm glad you touched the subject. We as women have similar problems. Some of us are looking for stability and a permanent thing which include companionship, respect and yes maybe some spoiling, but not in the sense the women got to you.

We get men with an ulterior motive or men looking for a fling, they just want to use you, then discard of you when they feel you are not giving enough. Then there are the men who only want everything to be about sex, the type who feels he has something to prove sexually.

I work through email before I supply any contact details, just to try to figure out what type of person I'm dealing with and 99% of the time the men who make the first contact with me will be on the sex subject within the second email, after that it is the size if he feels he got SIZE on his side or it is about how he will please a woman.

To be honest, I love sex, but once it becomes an obsession with him, it kinds of kills my love for sex. I want to experience a man not be his outlet for his obsession. I will not allow myself to give in to sex without knowing that there is a future for us, one where I belong in his life as he will belong in my life. I will not compromise and hope to be his first choice or that he wants to experience me, so any second-grade situation where I am second to someone else or to a situation like sex is off the table, it will be me all the way or nothing. I'm sure there is a lot of women who are feeling the same.

I'm not like the women you are describing there, life is full of them and unfortunately, there are far more of them than us (woman like me) who wants a lot more than second-grade sex.

Unfortunately, due to my previous experiences, where I end up looking after a man financially, I've decided to have some conditions for the next man in my life. I don't mean I was looking after him all the way, but I put in more than two thirds financially with a salary maybe a third of his into the relationship and household, so he can spoil himself or like with other situations spend it on alcohol, while I must just slave away for him. When the topic comes up of spoiling himself and finances are needed in other places, it would be "I'm working hard for my money" (heard out of the mouth of more than one), I wonder what I'm doing. I can't spoil myself, he doesn't spoil me, so what is life with him then about.

I don't want someone who is married or plans to stay married. His earnings need to be well above average and he needs to be reliable in many areas of life and relationship. I want in return what I'm putting into the relationship, as I'm putting him first, I don't want to be second to him, anyone else or something else in his life.

I don't expect someone I meet now to pay my bills or to buy me things that have no relation to our relationship. In return, he needs to respect me by not expecting sex until I'm good and ready to give it to him. He also needs to understand that I want to experience him as a whole and not to just be his outlet for his needs.

I don't know if I said too much, but I have to believe that are more women feeling like me who needs stability and companionship and not chancers who are out for a quicky and leaving us behind, damaged and used.




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[jqza69]

to keep the theme of the topic... yeah. love...?

the way i see it is like this. we are all experiencing this really messed up and forever confusing, wonderful, anxious filled, blissfully beautiful, horrible life, and worth living life. my point is that we are all experiencing different emotions. different environments, different experiences, mainly for the 1st time. i would 'love' a woman who is open enough to share every thought, action and emotion of their experience, and I'll share mine.
fuck categories like financially, sexually, emotionally.... i mean life-ly.

not sure many people are out there to be that vulnerable and brave to share someone else life and share their ow, respectively.

honestly speaking, im coming from a married from a married perspective currently and this is my experience so far. ive looked around, obsessed over some women over the years, but the first post is pretty much nail on the head.

reading the only reply from a lady. thank you, i just believe more and more that this relationship thing is broken from the start because there are so many individuals who come into relationships already broken and that manifests itself in unsustainable habits. im not perfect, no one is, and im just as totally fucking clueless as the rest of us sometimes, but at least i know it and can bare it.

anyway, sorry for the rambling, and thank you for allowing me the chance to share.

[Touchme]

I believe there are lots of bad and good men and women.
I am independent and not looking for any financial gain.
I love sex but it's not an obsession.
I believe love exists, but I am skeptical love can be found here.
Being a romantic person I don't appreciate it when guys want to show their private parts before any conversation takes place.

Will keep on trying😊

[eskarina]

I don't want money and don't care much about sex. Does that mean I'm not part of the games the sexes play with each other anymore? Good enough for me if a man can at least support himself. I think it is a waste of money to eat in a restaurant as you can make good food at home for half the price. Jewelry is useless but won't say no to real chocolates.

I'm low maintenance but it brought my no luck with men. Think you prefer the ones demanding a lot and costing money as in some wierd way it boosts your ego. Bonus is you have a million valid resons to leave a high maintenance woman and the privikedge to whine about it as well.

[newklear]

To answer the OP's question IMHO.

Love does not reside in the wallet and baahumbug for both men and women that have that line of thought! True connection/chemistry/ knows no boundaries in the sense, yes money is needed in order to live and aspire in certain luxuries but with that level of understanding, money should NOT be an issue. If it is, then it can't be right for either of you!

Unfortunately in this day and age, as we all know through experience most people seem to be spurious, with you probably having more chance in being attacked by a great white shark swimming in the Vaal Dam than finding true love.

For me, I find being completely transparent and or vulnerable with the one I meet up with on how we feel and over shared passed experiences, the closest way in achieving this without both parties wasting their time, money and investment. Saying that, still a better chance in winning the lottery with only buying half a lottery ticket in making that happen

Good news is, even though quite pessimistic with that approach or hope may be, there is still that chance and that for me is worth the risk and fuss on putting yourself out there!

So can share and relate to your frustrations, we all have our stories to tell I am sure, but just do not give up! Rather try the things that you will regret than regret the things you did not try! I like that quote by Master Yoda "Do or do not, there is no try!"

Appreciate both the men's and women's points of view in this thread! We can all clearly see everyone battles for what they seek, just a matter of finding the one on the same wave length as you and make some form of compromise to make that magic happen!

Note for the guys: Sending your dick pics is flippen stupid, first get the woman to take interest in you as a person and remember, size does not matter, sighs do!

Note for the gals: Go get your guys if they pique your interest, chivalry is still a given but in today's age I think most woman are too laid back in getting what they need while hoping it comes to them!

Good luck to the ladies in gents in finding their match!

[Julezzzzz]

Yip it seems so wrong to stereotype every cheek but it does seem to be female nature to complain when thing don't go their way. And just don't appreciate or feel that need to give any effort back.
Females are not meant to be understood. It will drive us crazy trying to figure them out

Commitment over rated most cheeks have become shallow to say the least. Sad. But let's keep hope alive lol