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lonely_steve
Joined: 23 Nov 2014
Posts: 2
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 Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2014 8:24 am Post subject: finding someone new why is it so hard |
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Good day.
I would just like to know why is it that some people can find someone so easily and others not.
Is it maby that I'm to picky or just that I'm not attravtive enough. |
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sershinho
Joined: 11 Nov 2014
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Thu Nov 27, 2014 7:47 pm Post subject: |
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| Be honest and nice, and put yourself in positions where u can meet people. And don't be too critical of yourself also. The rest will fall into place. Easy huh? |
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peterm
Joined: 15 Jul 2014
Posts: 260
Location: Pietermaritzburg
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| Posted: Wed Dec 10, 2014 9:32 pm Post subject: Re: finding someone new why is it so hard |
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| lonely_steve wrote: | Good day.
I would just like to know why is it that some people can find someone so easily and others not.
Is it maby that I'm to picky or just that I'm not attravtive enough. |
Sorry I did have a good laugh and I can empathise with your feeling.
Attraction to a woman is not just looks. If you want them flocking at your feet try being the alpha male, leader of the pack, head of something and and a dozen woman hanging on to you. In order - Safety, security and pre-selection. Chemistry to most.
Make sure you are neatly dressed in good clothes, well groomed, a good colour sense, polite, have manners, interesting, interested HER and don't spend all the time talking about yourself. Don't lie or brag. Don't skinner. And above all do not be pushy but do not let her make all the decisions or be needy or a push over. If you have nothing but sex on the brain don't expect it will not be noticed.
Notice her she spent time dressing for you. Oh my goodness you are so beautiful the sun is put to shame, marry me now, I cannot live another minute without you is for Mills and Boone books. But if you want to find out be my guest. I have money that says it will not work unless you can turn it into a joke.
Let the ladies speak. They are the experts. |
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kweli2015
Joined: 12 Jan 2015
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2015 4:08 pm Post subject: |
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| lol thought im the only oone who wonders this |
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phoebe
Joined: 18 Jan 2015
Posts: 9
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| Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2015 12:30 am Post subject: |
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| For me I have high standards and it has nothing to do with looks. Its communication, able to laugh, treated well, I'm the runaway brideiive turned down proposals cos he drinks too much, like porn (dealbreaker) I get an A for chosing the losers! Dumped my fiance who was 14 yrs younger (mistake) and I kept him 1yr too long cos I felt sorry for him! I'm a dang rescuer but now its all about me alone time |
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peterm
Joined: 15 Jul 2014
Posts: 260
Location: Pietermaritzburg
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| Posted: Fri Jan 23, 2015 12:17 pm Post subject: |
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| justforsexdrive wrote: | | If all this bull shit was true, you would not be single. |
That is not always of ones choosing but never the less I'm not going to argue semantics.
You have to understand that your choice in woman is no different to a woman's choice in men.
What is attraction? What is finding a partner? The answer is it is in our DNA, genetics, instincts call it what you like. For the male it simply is to have as many children as possible, to mate with what is available and then move on to the next. The choice of woman is based on FERTILITY and ability to have and care for the child. For woman as the child bearer it is considerably more complex. I'll expand this. Safety = protection from other males, invaders, thieves..... Security = long term protection for the woman and child. Status = the ability to provide that protection. Ie the headman, chief or some modern equivalent. Basically the alpha male who would lead the pack.
Woman more often that not confuse violence as strength, bullying as leadership and bad behaviour as status in getting away with it.
All of these are designed for survival of the species and yes woman often foolishly choose the jerks, arrogant jocks and bad boys while completely neglecting the nerds who are seen as no status, no safety, no security.
So that is the place to start. Self confidence, talk to woman as if they had a brain, they do. Take an interest in her and how she feels about things. Tease by being a bit mysterious, don't spill your guts, make her work for it. Watch for clues and signals you are expected to notice. And don't spend a date complimenting her but notice the work she put in to meet you.
Sound like rocket science? It is and woman cannot tell you what they want. They have some idea in their head but when it comes to "chemistry" see above, all that goes out the window.
You are looking for a diamond your diamond. Don't expect to see one on every street corner. |
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phoebe
Joined: 18 Jan 2015
Posts: 9
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| Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2015 7:51 am Post subject: |
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| WOW! Different opinions different people relate to. Being unique I can't generalise on what others want. For me its "don't look" if its gona happen it will, cos we settle when we deserve better! Who wants spend life with an A-hole? We teach people how to treat us and like I said I've had an A in chosing wrong cos I looked to hard to overcome the loneliness! I live alone and its nice, but gets lonely! One has the right to chose who they mix with incl friends as pessimism is a choice! I don't want a sourpus in my life co I am happy but he who compliments my characted. I do believe his out there and if not I won't die without a partner. Its so hard becos we look to hard. To a degree cyberspace has its advantages! I've spoken ages to friends and one can pick up on character as you go along... I've met fantastic ppl but chemistry wasn't there. I believe in love is a crock and puts demands on couples who give part of themselves away in a couple! I am reaching self-actualisation being single at month and its awesome as I now am getting to know what I really want. Finding someone is about me and him being compatible and at peace! I don't follow societies expectations- we are all unique |
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peterm
Joined: 15 Jul 2014
Posts: 260
Location: Pietermaritzburg
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| Posted: Mon Feb 02, 2015 2:30 pm Post subject: |
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| phoebe wrote: | | I've met fantastic ppl but chemistry wasn't there. |
That "chemistry" is what our subconscious perceives as an ideal mate. I gave you what it s for a woman. Somebody they want to breed with in long term security and it does not matter how old one is.
We have two choices we can pick who our subconscious wants to breed with or who our mind tells us is a fantastic partner. The first method chooses A-holes and breeding partners the second people we will love for who they are. |
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